Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
