I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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