how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
