I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
