brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
