it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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