I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
