We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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