carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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