Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm too high and old for this...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize