He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
