There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
