i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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