Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
jump out the window naked night went bad
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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