Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
