once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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