I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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