I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
