When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
