end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
