I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
