When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
