I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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