The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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