She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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