I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
"it" just moved
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize