Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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