No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
