Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
