omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
