U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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