How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize