covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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