i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
