Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I met the friendliest cop last night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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