Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
