Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
