but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
