she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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