Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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