you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is classic penis vs brain.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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