Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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