you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did I show you my penis last night?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
