you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
