I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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