Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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