sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
