with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
