a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize