if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
