I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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