Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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