Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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