She's JV to your varsity
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
