It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
