think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Randomize