my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
