I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Randomize
