If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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