Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
