I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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