She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
