I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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