3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
