I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
